Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
