I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
