i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
