He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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