dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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