well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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