She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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