is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
