Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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