Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
