so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
