Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
