help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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