Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
