Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
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