is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
