so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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