How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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