I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Randomize
