I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
