I want to have your abortion
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
