im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
A bitchslap is in order.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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