are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
