i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize