ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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