they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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