You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
