and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
