everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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