i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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