In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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