My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize