Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize