I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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