Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
did i just pee glitter
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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