that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
