You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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