You made me cry and you don't even care
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
