So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
