Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize