You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
