guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
