there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
