Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
