Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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