he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
