I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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