Christians are straight up FREAKS
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
soo... how was my night?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
