what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
