I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
