Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
