the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
