Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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