Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
