Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
