direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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