He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Liz is crying about burritos again.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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