Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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