Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
