i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
