Cold hands, warm shart.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
