You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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