You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
